Sometimes, like right now, I feel brittle. Like my bones are about to crumble, my hair is about to fall out. I sometimes get puss pockets in my throat, like when you get strep. I only get one and it goes away before the day is done. Is there a correlation between the puss pockets and feeling terrible? Once towards the beginning of this whole ordeal I created a hypothesis that as lack of sleep increases (so the number of hours of sleep you get decreases, measured by the average amount minus the actual amount (i.e. 10 hours minus 3 hours would be 7 hours of sleep you normally get but did not)) the amount of symptoms increases (measured on a pain scale of 1 to 10) So I only got 4 hours of sleep last night but I normally get 8 hours, my lack of sleep number would be 4. My pain today has been around a 4 when its been bad. Which yeah it's less confusing when it is all graphed out. But basically it in theory should be a perfect +1 positive correlational graph.

     The other day I was scrolling through my facebook feed and I found an interesting/relevant blog post about living with a chronic illness. The woman who wrote it writes about herself and having rheumatoid  arthritis. I will link to the post here. I really like how she describes (as the title suggests) that chronic is really just a polite way of saying incurable. Like rheumatoid arthritis Crohn's disease isn't one that is seen so much on the outside and people don't understand why, yes doing hardly anything can make one so exhausted. Today I was almost, almost treated like normal. I got asked how my tummy was by my boss. Yes she was well intentioned but she knows its not my tummy. I simply smiled and said it's been feeling a lot better as compared to the last few months. Whatever. BUT that was the only time I got asked. Though I'm apprehensive about this weekend because this will be the first time I've traveled since becoming ill. Please pray for me that the 6/7 hour car ride won't be too bad both ways and that we make it safe.

     Jen