Yesterday I was so frustrated with everyone and everything. I want people to treat me normal, I want to act normal, I want to feel normal. But they can't and I can't. At least not right now. I know life isn't fair, I've said it hundreds of thousands of times to kids over petty, who gets to be in the front of the line, stuff.
I know life isn't fair, yet for some reason I still expect life to be fair.
I know life isn't fair, but I try to be a person why is this happening?
I know life isn't fair, but why me?
I know life isn't fair, but some people are worse off than me.
I know life isn't fair, but there is a God who loves me and you who let his Son die for us.

Last night my dad asked me if I ever thought this was all unfair, and he said if I answered that no I hadn't thought that that I was lying because he would be wondering that. I hesitated and said that yes I did think that but that I was extremely blessed even through this because I don't have ulcers, I can eat most foods, I don't have a colostomy/iliostomy. 

As John Piper said "Suffering is not only the price you will have to pay in the pathway of obedience sustained by joy in God, suffering is also designed by God to intensify your joy in Him." I went through life thinking I was invincible and that was foolish of me. Now, I'm not saying I partook in reckless behaviors, but I wasn't truly counting the blessing that is living. The 12th of August marks my sixth month of being sick.